It’s been a couple of months since Lori’s mom, Nancy Knowles, passed into eternity.  Some days it seems like it was yesterday.  Yet, other times it seems much longer.  I’m not sure why that is or what it means other than she is still much on our minds and still greatly missed.  A great danger in grief and mourning is to become so consumed with what (or who) we have lost that we can cease living in the present, mindful of the gifts, blessings and people we still have.  

This is something that Nancy would know nothing of.  She was a person who lived her life in the present tense always celebrating the moments and the people in front of her.   When we went back to Tennessee for the first time after she died, it was strange and hard.  Though it had been only a couple weeks it might as well have been years.  But someone made an interesting observation.   I don’t know if it was Lori or her sister, Angie, but it was observed that when everyone was in the living room talking and laughing things didn’t seem that different.  

This was because during those times, Nancy was rarely there with the rest of in the living room.  She might have been in the kitchen cooking or cleaning up.  But, more likely, she would have been in the other room with the grandkids reading or coloring.  Or she might have been outside with them on the swings or “having an adventure” (as our boys used to call it when they were young).  The point being that while the rest of us might have been zoned out looking at TV, a book, the newspaper, or the backs of our eyelids, Nancy was always right there where she loved to be–living in the present tense.  

The following is what I wrote in our church newsletter shortly after she died:

Elsewhere in this newsletter is a note of thanks from Lori for your love and concern with the passing of her mom.   And I certainly want to echo that.  It was so great to get home to a mailbox full of cards, refrigerator filled with food, and some beautiful flowers and gifts.   This is a first for us—losing a parent—and so we are unprepared for what many of you have already gone through.  Many of you have walked this valley of the shadow of death and you know that it’s inexplicably difficult.  It’s surely not the most difficult valley, but it’s hard.  Actually that famous verse from Psalm 23 literally reads “the valley of the deepest darkness.”  That’s an apt description.           

 There are such things as good deaths.  When a saint of God passes away peacefully after long life of 80 or 85 years.  Or when death finally brings peace and an end to terrible suffering or sickness and releases a loved one into the arms of Jesus.  Those are still very hard, but there is a sense of things making sense.  And though not one of us would question God’s sovereign will and timing, Nancy’s death does not qualify for that.   It was very sudden and really unexpected. 

18 years or so ago she had breast cancer, partial mastectomy and then beat the cancer.  We rejoiced with every year she was cancer free.  Then a few months ago, there seemed to be some cancer back though we weren’t real sure what the extent was.  Initial diagnosis seemed to indicate that it had returned with a vengeance.  But upon further examination it didn’t appear as bad and we thought that she would return back to being cancer free.   We are not exactly sure what happened, but there must have been a tumor in the brain.  She and Jim were all packed for a New England getaway when she woke up Wednesday with some symptoms of a stroke.  Until then she had felt fine.  She walked into the emergency room and was mostly alert all day Wednesday.  Very early Thursday morning, she had a seizure and never really came out of it.  By the time we arrived at the hospital at around 10:30pm on Thursday She was barely hanging on.  She died around midnight.  She was only 69 years old and in my opinion she died too soon. 

But on that next Sunday morning our entire family filed into both services at their church took our seats and worshipped God surrounded by a grief stricken congregation.  We worshipped God because we knew that Nancy was with the Lord.  We worshipped God because she would have been very ticked had we stayed home.  We worshipped God because He is good and worthy to be praised.  We knew that in our heads even if our hearts had not yet caught up.            

It would be easy for me to go on about what an extraordinary person she was.   One story kind of summed it up.  She would do anything for the grandkids.  I actually got worn out watching her at Dollywood or the water park because she never stopped.  Always doing whatever anyone else wanted to do.  But one day she and my nephew were at Dollywood and rode the rollercoaster. They wanted to by the picture but they weren’t happy with the picture so they rode it again to get a better picture.  That wasn’t good enough.  So they rode the rollercoaster seven times in a row just to get a better picture.  At the beginning of summer we are so glad that Becca got to spend two whole weeks at their house by herself.  She and grandma went to Splash country twice just the two of  them and went down all the water slides.  What a gift.             

At the funeral there were probably 6 or 7 hundred people there.  There was a solid line of people for four hours to pass by the casket and grieve with the family.  The line extended out the sanctuary into the gym.  A worthy testimony to the kind of selfless person she was and how giving she was.  It will be some time before I can refer to her in a sermon without losing it.  But I’m sure I will.  Because if ever there was a living sermon it was she. 

One of the main scriptures used at her funeral was Proverbs 31.  It’s a great passage.  I have used it at various times at funerals.  But when I have, it’s always been with edits.  Because if you look at that long list of attributes there are so few women who possess them all.  But I can tell you with all sincerity that my mother-in-law was a walking illustration of that woman described.  I’m sure you think I’m exaggerating.  I am not.  It is a staggering loss to our family, to my wife, to Jim.  And to me.            

 I think some are surprised that I am as grief stricken as I am (as glad as I am that she is most certainly with the Lord).  Whenever I would hear a mother-in-law story or joke I would just smile because I couldn’t relate.  From the first time I met her, even before Lori and were dating, she has been such a part of my life.  She was so generous to me with everything—her home, her food, her love, her advice, her encouragement.  And she prayed.  She prayed for me, for my ministry, for our church, for our kids.  She was a praying woman. Praying for me from the day I met her at Milligan when she would bake me pies and type my term papers.  She prayed that Lori and I would get together way back at Milligan College in the fall of 1986.  I am so glad that she was a godly, praying woman.  Because her answered prayer has been her greatest gift to me. 

And as you might know, a couple Sundays ago our daughter, Becca, gave her life to Christ and was baptized by her mom. What a joy it is to see your children baptized. All of our kids were right about the same age when they made the decision to follow Jesus. And, though we encouraged them and taught them from early on, the decision was their own. Someone commented to me after watching Becca get baptized what awesome parents Lori and I must be that all of our kids are committed to the Lord and His church. Our oldest, Daniel, is a junior at Johnson Bible College. Andrew will be attending Milligan College (Lori and my alma mater) next fall.

I never know how to respond when folks say things like that. For I usually think of all the things that I would have done differently in parenting—and they are many. We are far from perfect parents and sometimes I think if our kids do end up well adjusted in adulthood it will be in spite of their parents. But I will tell you something that we did get right—and it happens to be the most important thing. From day one with our kids, church was not an option. There was no discussion as to where we would be on Sundays and Wednesdays on a regular basis and where our priorities were. Now, it’s different with me being a preacher, but I can tell you that even if we weren’t in ministry, it would be the same. But, also, the fact that I am a preacher has it’s own pitfalls in bringing up kids to love the Lord. This is evidenced in a group of friends my son has at Johnson Bible College who are all PKs. They call themselves the PK (preacher’s kid) support group and meet regularly to try and overcome the unique obstacles in being raised in a ministry home.

My point is that the most important aspect of raising kids to love the Lord is to consistently demonstrate that as a priority. I give all the credit in the world also to the great youth ministers and children’s minister we have had. But here’s the thing—Thadd and Cathy can only influence our kids if we make sure they are involved in church. I have seen it all too often. Parents aren’t consistent in their own example of making church a priority with their family and then wonder why their teenage child doesn’t want to be involved in church and youth stuff. I know that there are a lot of things competing for our time and energy and attention. I have heard folks say “well, church will always be here, but __(fill in the blank) is just for a short time.” Number one, that speaks to our kids about priorities. Number two, there will always be something else that comes along. Now there were times that Daniel missed church stuff—especially because of band. But most of the time he missed even band when there were conflicts (even incurring the wrath of Mr. Knipe) to make church the priority.  

And so I’ll just be honest with you as your pastor and you can ignore it if you choose. But I say with all love that I just don’t understand Christian parents whose attitude toward church and their children’s spiritual development is inconsistent. I am not bragging, but I believe with all my heart that we are blessed with the best youth minister and children’s minister around in Thadd and Cathy. And you are depriving your kids if you model a “we’ll be at church if there is nothing better to do” attitude.

If you haven’t already, please begin a new chapter in your family and say with Joshua “as for me and my house—we will serve the Lord.” I promise you that if you do, one day your children will rise up and call your blessed. Okay maybe that’s farfetched. But they will thank you. And isn’t that all we want to hear from our kids?

I want you to go back in time with me for a few minutes to those wonderful days known as the 70’s. You know the decade—disco, smiley faces, flower power, sunshine, love, and some of the best music ever. Not to mention the best commercial ever—everyone sing along . . . “I’d like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love, grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves. I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.” Wow! Someone was smoking something when they penned that little ditty! The sad thing is that I really love that song and that commercial. As I remember, they always seemed to run it on Sunday nights right before Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom (another 70’s classic along with Hee-Haw, M*A*S*H, The Carol Burnett Show, All in the Family, and, that Saturday morning staple, Land of the Lost). Land of the Lost was from two guys named Sid and Marty Kroft. They were also responsible for that Saturday morning Psychedelic acid trip of show about the guy playing the magic flute.  

Anyway, the other night around the dinner table, I was waxing nostalgic on the virtues of the 70’s. At this my oldest son disagreed referencing things like inflation, Vietnam, the energy crisis. Oh yeah, I forgot about those little things. It’s funny how we tend to remember the things we want to remember.  

We have to be careful not to make an idol out of those much loved days of yesteryear. Things are never as great as we remember them in our “misty, watercolor memories.” And, yet, I often reflect on life in the seventies with wistfulness. To be sure, I was just a kid and didn’t have the pressures and stresses of adulthood. I am sure that my parents’ recollection of those days would be very different than mine. But think with me for a moment about life before the age of personal computing. A time long ago before the world was ruled by Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. 

Again, remember that I am a gadget geek (see previous posts). I love me some shiny, lithium powered, computer chip driven stuff. Love it! And for all of my cautionary comments in this blog I think that technology can be a wonderful thing and a great tool. Plus, it’s just neat. But even the best tools, if misused or misappropriated, can have some dire results. That’s all that I am saying. Let’s rethink the role and pervasiveness in our lives of technology. 

Back to the 70’s. Do you remember life before the constant pressure of maintaining and keeping current a variety of computers, cell phones, Facebook pages, Twitter accounts, and something called flikr (is that how you spell it? It doesn’t matter because with computers we don’t have to spell anything correctly anymore)?

What about life before having to keep track of login info for our digital universes? Do you remember a day without the considerable cost of cell phone bills, internet bills, newer and faster equipment, HD TVs, Blu Ray players, video games (or to put it simply, pretty much anything we get at Best Buy)? Do you remember not being utterly overwhelmed by literally unlimited entertainment choices. In the early 90’s a guy named Neil Postman wrote a great book called “Amusing Ourselves to Death.” That was 20 years ago and things have only gotten worse. We are an entertainment, leisure driven society and technology has fed the beast.  

We have hundreds of TV channels between cable and satellite not to mention the infinite number of internet diversions. There is streaming video from Netflix, Hulu, YouTube as well as unlimited sources of music. The job of the advertising industry is to create a need so that we will spend money filling it. And they have done this flawlessly regarding our insatiable desire to be infotained. And let’s be honest, 95% of it is absolute junk. 

All of this is to say that I am increasingly becoming convinced that, as neat and helpful as all of this often is, more important things are suffering and our souls are withering. Do you remember when there were maybe three or four TV channels and only two choices at the movie theatre. And so families had to actually talk with each other and agree on what to watch. And, together, they would watch a show and during commercials they would talk or get something to eat (unless it was the Coke commerical which everyone would stay to watch). Except for the occasional phone call (which didn’t last long because of being tethered to a cord) there were no distracting beeps, rings, alerts.

People weren’t in their individual cyber bubbles like the boy in that great 70’s TV movie “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.” In this classic, John Travolta took a break from being Vinny Barbarino to play a boy whom people could see but not touch. Sometimes I think that is us when we enter into our virtual cac oons to be entertained or connected with virtual people while we grunt at the real people sitting next to us.  

During my Facebook phase I had a great time reconnecting with old friends. But that soon ran its course and I began to wonder why I care that a person I barely talked to when our lockers were next to each other for six years had a great time in Hawaii. I became increasingly annoyed at the narcissistic status updates of people trying to get attention. Or with the passive aggressive pot shots of folks with an ax to grind who, rather than dealing with the issue in a constructive way, are content to vent for all the world (or at least their 29 friends) to see. If you are on Facebook and enjoy it and find it a good way to enrich your relationships and friendships, I am not criticizing you. I just think that we all need to think long and hard about the message we send when we immerse ourselves in constant connectivity with everyone except those we are physically with.  

I love that Jesus was always fully present wherever He happened to be. There were always people tugging at him to go somewhere else, minister to another person, tend to a more urgent situation. But He didn’t do it. There was a calm and a peace and a focus to His life. He was fully engaged with whomever he was with. I want to be like that.

You may be asking (and you have every right to), “Okay, Chris, you say you love gadgets and technology, so how are you applying your own words to your life?” Well, I will talk more about that next time, but I will say that I haven’t fully figured out all the changes I need to make. But I have made some. And, more importantly, I am asking the questions. And that’s where we all need to start. 

I am continuing to look at the effects, good and bad, of our techno driven lives. I will be continuing this throughout the summer.

Over the past several weeks I have been absolutely dumbfounded by all the attention and media coverage given to this man, Harold Camping, who against all biblical mandates to now speculate on dates and times said that Judgment Day would occur last Saturday. It wasn’t just a prediction. He said with absolute certainty that May 21st would be it. “There is no plan B,” he expounded. I hope that I don’t need to get into all the reasons why such speculation is foolish. But, quite simply, we are told in Scripture not to do that. Furthermore, we are told not to listen to such people who claim to have special information about such things. They are wrong. Clear and simple. 

When Saturday came and went, there was silence from Camping’s broadcasting offices. I thought that finally he had learned his lesson after his failed 1994 prediction and now this one. Yet, astonishingly, he now says that he was wrong only partially. For there was a spiritual Judgment Day which occurred last Saturday with the final, visible, real one to occur on October 21st. He is sure of it this time. October 21st is the day. There is no plan B. Most of his followers are somewhat forgiving and willing to give him another chance. But some, mostly those who quit their jobs or blew through their savings to promote the end of the world, are not so understanding. Yet, we should not feel sorry for them or anyone who so blatantly and willfully ignores the clear teaching of Scripture to follow the ramblings of one man.  

Proverbs 14:25 says “A truthful witness saves lives, but a false witness is deceitful.” Only God knows this man’s heart. But I believe he will certainly have a lot to account for when that Day does come. He is a false prophet and the Bible has very harsh things to say about such people—especially those who would cause harm to the delicate faith of little ones. Little ones like my ten year old daughter who was terrified Friday night because she heard on the news that the world would be ending on Saturday . . . The News! So because I am so aggravated and incensed by this whole thing, this is the last thing I will say on the subject until I preach or teach on it again. 

I use this example to point out one of the most troubling aspects of our technology, internet dominated world: The devastating speed and ease with which all manner of falsehood can be spread. Suffice to say that without the capabilities of technology and the need to fill web pages, blogs, and 24 hour news channels with constant fodder this whole thing would have barely been noticed. It is just so easy for junk to spread and infiltrate our lives. As Christians, we should be the champions of truth and honesty and integrity. But, as we have seen, too often Christians are the easiest and most gullible prey.  

We have all received chain emails with some titillating story, bit of gossip, or unbelievable way to make easy money. You can usually spot them because they begin with these words:

“I don’t usually forward emails like this but . . .”  

I always want to ask “But what?”  

• “But, I have had a temporary malfunction in my brain . . .”  
• “But, this is the juiciest piece of gossip I have ever heard . . .”  
• “But, this only confirms what I already wanted to believe about how evil (insert your politician of choice) is because it’s what (Bill Maher, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Al Franken, etc.) says . . .”  
• “But, I have decided to neglect what the Word of God says and spread this regardless of how speculative or outrageous it really is . . .”

I mean, really, but what?! There are few things in the Bible as clear as the fact that we are not to try and set times and dates for His return. We are just to be ready. And to be found not staring up into the sky waiting for Him to come, but with our hands to the plow living our lives in faithfulness and readiness for His sudden, announced appearance. 

Proverbs 18:8 says “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.”

Brothers and sisters, let’s be careful about what we believe and what we spread lest it increasingly becomes who we are and not just what we think.